10 things you will never read in a romance

1. “It is the time of the month. Sorry honey, come back in a couple of days…”

2. “Oh crap! The condoms are way too big for your tiny little winy thing baby.”

3. “Give me a moment, I need to pee!… (she washes her hands) … ok! I’m ready. You can lick my clit now…”

4. “Oups baby girl, no more lube left… mmm you are not wet… do you care?”

5 .”I love your butt plug honey. But don’t you think that the size of an anaconda is a tiny bit too much?”

6. “Oh woua! you have so much hairs that I cannot find your dick… mmm… do you have a map?”

7. “I think it is sooooo sexy to lick you right after I took your virginity!”

8. “Oooooooh I really thought you were a true blonde!”

9. (one year on a desert island): “Oh babe! I love your hairy legs and under-bras. It tickles and it is soooooo sexy!”

10. (epilogue) “Well… I do not want to marry you anymore. I lied. I just wanted to fuck you. Bye!”

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Feel free to complete the list! 🙂