Yep. Part 2 is in order.
I read a couple of books lately and I guess I feel the need to vent and purge myself. So here are some stupidities I read recently and just wanted to share…
► the guy know only her name (assuming it is her real name) and the area (note “area” not “city”) she is coming from. He makes some searches and BAM, he finds not only she spent some time at the hospital but he learned the name of her ex-boyfriend. UH? WOW! I am impressed here. I mean with my name and lets say I came from the east, people would know the name of my exes? Will they know about this guy I met 30 years ago in Sicilia and… Really? Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase find him!!! he was my soul mate and I did not know that at that time!!!! *sigh* I guess every freaking guy in the army is a hacker and ready to break the laws. Every author should definitely remember to have an army guy at hands Credibility = 0
► the guys are in love with the girl or so they told her so but when she admits she loves them back, it is (quote) even more important to protect her (unquote)? Because of course before that they were okay to do it but not completely sure you know? But when she told them she loved them back everything was so much surer. If I love somebody, unless he tells me he loves me back I may give shit of what happens to him because it is not on my top list priority. But of course! Credibility = 0 and I will had Stupidity = 10/10
► the girl has been severely beaten, she is ashamed of herself and is wearing a wagon of insecurities and without consulting her, the guys decide to share a picture of her when she was at the hospital, bruised and alll, and made copy of this picture, distributed to the cavemen town guys because they had to make sure those guys understood how crazy her ex was because those people are soooooooooooooooooooooo very stupid that they needed picture to understand right? WOW I guess I will never stay in a US hospital since it is so easy to get personal infos… guys, come in Canada, we have strict laws here! eh? 😛 But you know what? a little sex will solve the problem when she was so ashamed, upset and furious that they did not respect her privacy and discuss it prior this. Sex solves every fucking thing in a romance right? Credibility = 0 – Stupidity = 10/10 AND the little cavemen act playing on my nerves 200/10
► and AGAIN the “Lets fuck her” when the woman disagree with the holly mighty super cave-fucking-men. The woman want to run? Lets have a little Dom party to make sure that you understand the wrong of your ways. She does not want to recognize she loves them, lets tease her on the border of an orgasm and keep her dry. GRRR STUPIDITY = 1,000,000,000/10
► If I decided to open a sex shop, my first very thought of the perfect place would be to open in in my small conservative native town I was born most especially if I did not return there for a decade. I would be totally certain that it will be an immediate success right? Credibility = 0
► I am broke. I have a mortage, no money, very sick. I mean I am even pitifuller than Cinderella. But all of a sudden, 2 guys shows up and miracle o miracle everything is solved, money are showing up and I am cured!!!!!! youpiiiiii! credibility = 0 – stupidity = 00
I mean WTF?
It is late and I do not remember all the books I read lately and wished I never had.
I know for a fact that some of the above books I mentioned have betas readers. Betas being critiques to check the inconsistencies. Guess they were on vacations at the time or they are super groupies of the authors and worship every single dots because no way a good critique would miss those and not tell the authors how stupid it was to build a story around that. There is always a way to say it without being mean, with respect and be very careful of the oh so fragile author’s ego. I am turning this into ridiculous because I am frustrated. Although it could be worse. I could be straightforward and post a review of each book or I can just do not mention names and titles and just vent. Lets put it that way: it is 3:30 in the morning and I am too tired to write a review for each of the above books! 😛
I am seriously reconsidering my understanding of what is an “erotic romance”. I probably did not get it. I should read it as a fairy tale and swallow everything it is written and forget that I am a middle aged woman who does not believe in Disney fairy tales anymore, and if my panties are not wet because of some caveman act or if I cannot relate to the damsel in distress, I should probably consult a doc and ask some help. Sadly I realize that I am probably not in the freaking majority to enjoy this kind of stories…. at all. Because it has to be since it is raining this kind of stories all the time… help! What is wrong with me?
The good part is that since I do not like to write bad reviews, this venting blogpost will probably cure me for another couple of months. yeah yeah I am slow to react: the old age you know? The even greater part is that I find so many new menage authors now that I can forget that I ever read the authors that gave me the rash. No worries, I will move on and find soon my next outstanding menage romance. There are always a couple in the corner. Sometimes they are just too shy to show up! haha
But truly. It’s been years since I read erotic romance now and I still do not understand the attraction with the cavemen characters or the virgin or damsel in distress heroine. But what I just cannot figure it out is the lack of imagination to find some credibility in the storyline. Is it that difficult for an author to ask herself: “is is possible?” “is it credible?” “is it too over the top or not?”…. I guess so. Too many spankings can push the grey cells by the nose… you know the upside down effect? (tired, remember? it is okay if I am the only one to laugh at the image I have in my head here… it is only because in every single menage erotic book I read now there is a spanking, seems it is mandatory).
It is so frustrating to think that I spent my money on those. I know there is no guaranty to get quality when I buy books but even if I do not expect the “outstanding” rating each time, I expect it to be at least a “good” read not making faces when I read ridiculous inconsistencies.
It is frustrating tho when I read a story that is good and all of a sudden something is spoiling it big time. For me when a book is bad, I quickly move on. But when a book is genuinely okay in the overall picture, when it gets harder and harder to read, when I start skipping paragraphs because I am disgusted of what I read … THAT sucks. And THIS makes me react and wish to spills the bean in a blogpost. But you know what? this is my fault. I should just close the book and move on to the next before the non credibility eats at me too much.
That’s what I’ll do next time…. because I have no illusion, there will be a next time when an author will not understand that credibility makes all the difference between a great author and a o-so-not-a-great author.
Until part 3… see ya all!