Long time, no see….. Never say ever…. and all that eh? 😛

Today is my day to rant about something that is boiling inside me for quite a while and how convenient to have a blog to share my rant and talk about something that makes me cringe… like nails on a chalkboard…

reverse harem

If you love erotic menage romances, you probably saw this new tag or mention on blurbs and/or covers. You probably did not care much or thought it was another genre.

Well it is and it is not. In fact, this mention is misused, like BIG TIME.

Some authors decided a little while ago to use this tag in their stories not even knowing what it means, not even caring what it means. Most for greedy reasons, some because they did not do their homework, some just per honest mistake. So let me explain what reverse harem means:


Reverse harem: A genre in manga and anime where a single (often ordinary) girl is liked and followed by a bunch of handsome men (3 or more) who are all madly in love with her. The girl often cannot pick which guy she should go out with and remains indecisive.  source


Reverse harem anime is in a word, the reverse of harem anime. Your main character is a girl, generally clumsy, sweet, and average in appearance. (…)

The main character is surrounded by guys—lots of hot bishounen that will make your heart go “doki doki”! Just like with harem anime, you have a bishounen for all types of ideals like the megane character, the tsundere, the childhood friend, the playboy, the shota, and the sporty type. (…)

Unlike harem anime, reverse harem anime does not have nudity, although there may be a few shirtless scenes. It does not have ecchi scenes. It is not as comedic as harem anime, but the right bishounen can make your heart race and your face blush. Actually, some of the guys get downright aggressive, and while that’s cute in harem anime, in a reverse harem, it’ll have you clinging to the edge of your seat clawing at the screen.(…) source


Reverse Harem is sub-genre of Romance. In these stories multiple men gather around one central, female character. This trope is popular in Manga and Anime.

“For those of you that don’t know, that means one girl with multiple guys (and no, she Doesn’t choose one in the end).” [1]

“It’s an anime where one girl is surrounded by a lot- and I mean A LOT- of sexy, good looking bishies (beautiful men). And usually all the men are in love with the girl as well.” [2]

“…the word ‘HAREM’ means a group of women or girls interested in a particular man or guy. ‘REVERSE’ as you all might know means the opposite of something. So if we reverse ‘Harem’ it would become ‘Reverse Harem’. And instead of a bunch of girls chasing a guy , it would be a bunch of guys chasing a girl. Not exactly chasing but you get the message. Reverse Harem is one of my Fav anime topics because they’re filled with romance, fun, awesomeness and of course a bunch of cute and hot guys. Reverse Harem Animes usually have only one female character (the main character ,can only be a female) who is surrounded by a bunch of guys. However in some cases there may be more than one female character. Now to the guys, well in reverse harem there can be up to about 15 or maybe more. All guys in reverse harem have different personalities which makes them all different.Because of this some get along well some don’t. Here are some of their personalities: SWEET, SOFT-HEARTED, RUDE, EVIL, SPLIT PERSONALITY, FLIRTY, SPORTY, COOL, SCARED, HAPPY, SAD, PAINFUL, ANGRY, PLAYBOY, CALM and HOT. These are only some , so control yourselves.” [3]


Nothing wrong here. Reverse harem anime is popular in Japan. I do not see anything wrong to be inspired and write a story with NO SEX, MULTIPLE IN LOVE GUYS with NO HAPPY ENDING!!


Can you please explain to me why the heck EROTIC AUTHORS do think appropriate to tag reverse harem in their erotic story which is a relationship with heroes that DO HAVE SEX TOGETHER and have a HAPPY MENAGE ENDING??


Reverse Harem is sub-genre of Romance….. WHERE? where is the romance if the ending is not a happy ending!!!! All the guys are in love but the heroine does not love any and is only in lust with them? Again WHERE is the freaking romance?

unless… unless erotic authors are using this tag to attract readers and believe that it is sexy and hot to use this tag…

Now… let’s refresh our mind ….

A ménage à trois (French for “household of three”) is a domestic arrangement in which three people having romantic or sexual relations with each other occupy the same household. It is a form of polyamory. source


A love triangle (also called a romantic love triangle or a romance triangle) is usually a romantic relationship involving three people. While it can refer to two people independently romantically linked with a third, it usually implies that each of the three people has some kind of relationship to the other two. source


So can someone explain to me why EROTIC AUTHORS decided out of nowhere to use REVERSE HAREM all of a sudden???

Please note the word EROTIC in Erotic Authors. I do not mind one bit the NON EROTIC authors who may use reverse harem tag correctly because their stories are very similar to the manga/anime and their audience is young adults. Here my rant is all about EROTIC AUTHORS.

Japan anime are NOT erotic romance and will never be similar. Multiple men with one heroine are either a menage, a polyandry relationship or a triangle. Reverse harem is a genre in itself that has nothing to do with erotic romance. So again….. EROTIC AUTHORS…. Which part of NO SEX did you not understand when you are tagging reverse harem??

It makes no sense. It is plain stupid. It makes me want to yell to those authors that using this tag means lying to the readers.

A menage is a menage. If you read a story where the heroes do have sex in the same “bedroom” and end up together… IT IS A FREAKING MENAGE!!!!!

Now lets talk about the word HAREM that I do abhor.

Where the heck is the romance in this??? A harem means a bunch of people from teenagers to elders who are prisoners, who have no freedom, who are used for sex, who have a master that can do whatever they want with, including scaring, beating, killing even. Those masters are no BDSM Doms, they are literally men who rape women who are generally sold by their own fathers and families. Do you really think that underaged women are happy to go to a harem, married or not married to a man generally old enough to be their grandfather? How do you call older men forcing teenagers? PEDOPHILE . RAPIST.

Am I exaggerating? Really?  Yes, probably. It is never black and white. But for me Harem is not synonym of freedom and just that in itself is enough for me to abhor this.


The idea that women do phantasm to be a mistress on a throne and have dozen of men naked at their disposal is ridiculous and degrading. There is NO LOVE STORY in that. There is NO ROMANCE in that.

Yep. You can be CERTAIN, that I WILL NEVER BUY ANY STORY WITH THE TAG REVERSE HAREM in it or referred to.

For me it is insulting me. It is insulting the free woman I am. It is insulting the reader I am. There is no excuse to use this tag without knowing the meaning and consequences of it.

Ask yourself this question: among all the publishers you ever visited online and checked all the menage romances available, have you ever seen “reverse harem” in their categories? no?… there you go!

I invite you to read my blog HERE. You will notice that in no shape of form I mention reverse harem there… because it has NO PLACE in erotic romance…

So reverse harem? Heck the F* no!.






note: MY rant. MY blog. Everyone is free to think differently.

2 responses

  1. KathyORourke says:

    Hi Mary..I’ve read several books where there is one woman and three guys. The woman loves all three of them..yes written by an erotic author…

    Liked by 1 person

    • well then it is a menage a quatre……….. unless the story has absolutely no sex scenes and the heroes are almost anti heroes which is what reverse harem is all about.

      it cannot be both.

      obviously this author needs to be directed to wikipedia and do her homework… or she does not care and think she can cash faster by using a new tag.