reviewer typewriter_edited-2

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Hello there!

After almost 9 years of reading menages and 5 years of reviewing them exclusively, I am still equally surprise how authors are just like everyone else on the planet. And here is the kind of specie I came across.

1. The grateful: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
2. The ever so shy: I was hoping that you would consider, maybe, if you have time, but I am in no hurry…
3. The sour bitch: she better gives me a 5 stars or I will  share with my facebook fans about ungrateful reviewers who know shit about my Pulitzer first release that will put me on the USA today chart tomorrow
4. The big ego: I know I am great. I do not need reviews but here is my outstanding book. Whatever you say won’t matter anyway. My fans tell me I am the best, they put me on a pedestal and I trust their judgment only.
5. The sweetheart: thank you so much for your time. I really really really appreciate your time and opinion!
6. The opportunist: Giving you a thank you? Heck no! Just give me a damn review so I can use your blog and the review for my promotion
7. The spiteful: Thank you for your time but I will never ask you to review one of my baby ever again
8. The friendly: read it! but I do not expect a review (even if deep down I hope you will like it enough to do it)
9. The over the top: I sent you ALL my collection and hope you will like one of them
10. The constructive: Thank you for your honest opinion, you pinpointed a couple of things that I will take under consideration in the future
11. The insecure: I hope this reviewer will like it. Shall I ask her review you think? Okay, taking a deep breath… lets do it!
12. The kick-ass: I better be friend with her because she can help me. So I will be very friendly… she will not dare give me a poor review if I do that or she will review my book faster! But once done? I am out of there and she will never see me ever again!
13. The mailing list: I have no idea who you are lady but I read somewhere the word “reviewer” so here is my blurb, my cover book, my social medias, my excerpt, the buying links, my logo, my check account,… I do not expect an answer but a review. see ya!
14. The all over the place PA: I checked all the reviewers on the planet and your name showed up. I am the PA of Mrs ABC and here are all the infos for you to check or be part of her tour. If you are interested, contact me. Oh? you are an exclusive menage reviewer and I keep sending you MF books? But you are a reviewer, right? Good!
15. The premature: I just friend you a minute ago. I do not know you whatsoever. Can you review my book?
16. The ignorant: I know you are an exclusive erotic menage romance reviewer. It is clearly stated everywhere on your blog, facebook, tweeter, linkedin, google+, goodreads… BUT (option 1): I have this MF story and was wondering if you could make an exception… (option 2): I have this MF story with one sex MFF scene, and since you review menages.
17: The daring stalker: I know you for years. I read and follow your blog and ramblings as well as your sarcastic reviews. I am a new author and I am wondering if you could review me?
18. The one of the kind: Thank you for your review. (and here is Mary falling from her chair when she discovered that (option 1): the author dedicated her next book to her… (option 2): the author added my logo on her blog/site promoting me without asking me… (option 3): encourage new authors in private to ask me a review

Yeah… that sums it up pretty much. 😀

mary3

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13 responses

  1. Kayla Lords says:

    I hate asking for reviews because of #2, but I’d like to think I’m a cross between #1 and #5 once the review comes out. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jana Leigh says:

    You missed one Mary!! It is called the The Humble which I am- I love reviewers who tell me like it is. Because even though you gave me a 3 star like four years ago, I respect and love you because without your opinion I would never have changed what was obviously wrong in my writing. I also know that I would be nothing without people like you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. lynn says:

    Without honest reviews such as yours how else will a writer know truthfully how readers feel about reading one of their books. I took what you said and did my best to improve on my writing. I am a #8 laughing, and partial # 18. I often encourage writers to request a review from you. Keep doing what you do, and Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. averygale says:

    Sometimes the truth is painful…but it’s a huge help if you’re smart enough to use it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is one opinion avery so every author should take it with a grain of salt as one way to look at their work. I believe that each author should consider every options, good and bad and if a reviewer pinpoint some cons, then to try to be objective and ask a second opinion. It it is confirmed then the author should think about it and try to move to the right direction. Every book has pros and cons but human nature will see only the cons. I am doing my best to deliver both but I understand that it is difficult to hear the cons and a bit discouraging but we all grow from critics and next book is always better no doubt. The major issue I found so far is the ego of some authors. I rarely met authors who were truly asking for an “””honest””” opinion. I can tell everyone here that I can count them on one hand. It is okay. Nobody can please everyone and thank you for that! This means that I can appreciate some great menages too! 🙂

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  5. God, no idea what it says about me, but I reckon I’m a mix of #1, 2, 5, 8, 10, and 11. Haha! Talk about OTT!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I loved reading this! You nailed it, Mary! As a reviewer, myself, I run into all sorts of authors from the obnoxious to the shy. As an author, I am a mix of #1, 2, 5, 10 and 11. My pet peeve is when authors demand time frames. I am busy with work, life, family and being a reviewer. I give a time frame and try to hold to it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person