Some may wonder why I did not review any menage lately. Answer is very simple: lack of inspiration.
For the last two weeks, I read a couple of menage romances but none of them really inspired me to write a review and share my feelings, excitement or joy about any of them. Sadly pretty much the reverse, in fact.
It has been very disappointing… and frustrating.
I read so many non sense, non credible, full of pseudo erotic menage with no depth… I mean each of them made me cringe for different reasons.
I think the cherry on top of the nasty cake was this story that was everything but a menage with forced seduction, rape, no love/romance between characters except one and ending with a HFN MF. *le sigh*
I generally try to be cautious with the choice of my menage romances. I now have a couple of authors that are on my black/duh list along with some on my white/wow list. I generally give a chance two times with an author, then I move on. Sometimes my choice has nothing to do with the talent: I read them on facebook or twitter and what they project is so not attractive that I either stop reading them or refuse to even give them a chance. Rare, but I have also a few names on this grey/yuck list.
In other words, after many years reading the same genre, I have a clear idea what I love, like or dislike. Each weeks brings new menage releases and I cannot be more happier about it. After all, menage in real world are still very taboo and being able to select menage romances from so many publishers or self-published is a blessing.
With years, my taste refined more an more. I became a bit more picky. I read hundred of them and since I have also an excellent reading and visual memory, I know what I like to find in my menage romances.
So, what tickles my menage fancy?
I want the characters to be lovable. I want the characters and story to be credible. I want the plot to be original and nicely mixed with the romance. I want the sex scenes to be original, intense with why not a grain of humor
What i get is rarely that.
I have heroes that are cavemen and disrespect women inside and outside the bedroom and shut them up with generally a spanking. I get heroines that have no backbone. I get also tons of inconsistencies. Timeline is ridiculous. Sex scenes are boring and skipped. And finally the plot is always about the big bad villain that that is introduced at the beginning of the book and magically appear at the end trying to kill the heroine because the author is lacking of imagination to end her story without false drama.
Yeah. I get that a lot.
The heroines are generally virgins from 20 to 27 years old, yet the men slept with hundred of women (DUH!). When sadly the virginity is lost by boys and girls at the age of 10 to 15 these days, I wonder if the authors are too old to realize that we are living in the 21st century! I want to read a romance with credible characters and situation. I just want to shake them up and say: wake up! Because this is exactly my reaction each time I read an heroine is still a virgin at 25 or the heroes are woman whores. Which category of women age the authors think are buying their stories? Giggling old bimbo with a vibrator in hands? Thinking that the readers can be horny to read the first sex scene when the woman is loosing her virginity? really? This may happened a few decades ago for me but i quite remember that loosing virginity means blood and pain and unless the characters are vampires, I do not see that as sexy. at. all. I do not even want to re-live this again (and again) thank you very much. Let me clarify here… majority are adult educated women that are not living in the last century! Why do authors (and publishers) want their readers to relate to virgins all the time? So what, because she is a virgin, the heroine is more lovable? Because they used women instead of their hand, the heroes are sexier? Each time the heroes shut the heroine up, I am wondering if the authors are writing an homage to their dad… because that for me is very much the 50s/60s when most father worked, women at home raising kids and males were allowed to do anything because they brought money… Do I want this in my fantasy romance? Heck no!!! WTH? THAT, I call incredibility and it ruins half of my enjoyment each time.
I really do not get it. Most of the authors are middle aged women, like me. I assume they are married or at least they have an healthy normal sex life. Their relationship, I would also assume, are normal and I bet they would be the fist to slap a man’s face if they disrespected them or at least takes the necessary actions to make sure that she is respected (life-style can be complicated but respect is always #1 priority between partners). Like everybody, they went thru ups and downs but they generally make it okay in real life. I mean, I read few of them daily on facebook. Most of them are very mature nice ladies that do not project anything but a nice fun personalities. Sometimes I feel closer to some but nothing new on the planet, this is the same thing with people I meet in real life: some I like, some I do not care and some I avoid.
But sometimes I feel as if the author think that the readers are giggling old ladies that never had sex in their life or want them to reverse to their teens years… I am not sure where this is coming from but this is the feeling I get. My question is: if they deliver such bimbo heroine, are they bimbo in real life too? Laughing? Well, not that much considering that most authors claim that they put a lot of themselves in the heroine which makes sense. I do not see how an author could write something that is completely stranger to her. But then my question is not that stupid: if they relate to bimbo characters, are they one too? I will push my question further: how come readers relate to them and find them sexy, sassy, attractive? Does it mean that readers are bimbo too? Dammit! I feel like an alien here!
Sarcastic me? yep.
My answer is: I am sure the big majority are not. Exception exists tho… obviously.
I am a normal middle aged woman that has a normal sex drive, that believe that men and women should equally respect each other, that love and marriage do not happen within 5 days. It happens that I am not a frustrated woman, that I experience(d) many thing and know the difference between credible and not. And you know what? We are thousands of thousands like this! I am nothing special. Do I want to read something that I will never have in real life? Possibly. That is why I read romances or I would read bios and documentaries instead. Do I want to read something that is completely absurd, not credible, full of inconsistencies, not romantic, boring? certainly not.
When I read authors struggling why their quarters are low, why don’t they try to critique their own work and make sure to take actions to deliver something that makes sense?
I am into BDSM. This is not a surprise if you read my reviews. I have tons to say but I will try to resume.
When I read a BDSM romance, I want authenticity and credibility. How come some authors are publishing a story with the label BDSM when the story is everything but a BDSM one. This irritates me to no ends. It is not because an author adds a spanking and a butt plug in the storyline that it becomes automatically a BDSM story… In a way, I feel disrespected by the author because she did not make the effort to learn and/or transcribe the true essence of what is the life-style.
That, I read it a lot. I would say way too much.
For the last 2 weeks, I came across deception after deception. I probably read 10 books and I am like WTH? Most I spent some money, few publishers gave them to me. I am eagerly reading each blurb of new each releases to inspire me so I can be awed and get the punch in my guts that makes my eyes dreamy and my spirit happy. But I am searching for one. I know it is temporary and another outstanding story is waiting for me at the corner but it generally takes less than 2 weeks to find one. Today I am feeling antsy to find the one that will make me feel a roller coaster of emotions and awe at the epilogue. I want it. I need it.
Yes, I have a pending list to-review given by numerous authors but reading a book is something special for me. Sometimes, I spend months before I review one book that was given to me. Not because they are bad (if they were, I would refuse to review them) but because I have this weird connection with them and I know when it is the right time for me to read them. Sounds silly, I know. Hey! I am allowed to have my weaknesses and kinks like anybody else!
So, if you have ménage romance suggestions to share, please leave a comment or even send me a recommendation on Goodreads. Probably new releases (less than 3-6 months) as I probably already read the old ones.
I want my reading inspiration back now! HELP!